Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
