My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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