I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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