Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
