I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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