She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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