she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
