I got chris browned last night
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
