Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
