First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
