That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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