sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize