He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
How's work?
Spinning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
