I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
