No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no, he came in my armpit
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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