So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
