Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
