So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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