If you die in college, do you die in real life?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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