508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
