I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
jump out the window naked night went bad
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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