Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
