my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
