Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
