these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize