I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize