What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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