My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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