That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize