I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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