It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
