i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
