You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Couch. On fire.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize