Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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