Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
