forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
