I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
