well you can't waste a boner
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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