Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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