i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
