i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
