She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
