Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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