Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
