East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
