Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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