My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
