Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
