The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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