Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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