I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
