I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
