Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns

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(208): View more from Idaho

Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...

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(727): View more from Florida

He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now

(847): View more from Illinois

I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser

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(808): View more from Hawaii

It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.

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