Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
