Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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