im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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